C.A.R.E. - 8 September 2026

 Focus for Today: 

The words from the C.A.R.E. model are: EMOTIONAL AWARENESS

 E. - Emotional Awareness: September 8, 2026

Gratitude for the ability to be able to reflect and center

The opportunity to make good or harmful decisions are evident every minute of every day. I received a note from another patient I was in rehab with that said; 

"Think about this every day!

Is it smart? 

Is it safe?" 

Those are great words to live by, and much effort goes into that simple maxim if you truly intend to live that way. 

 In that vein of thought, I think emotional awareness is about (for me) understanding my limitations with my addiction. Life is hard right now and it makes it even more challenging not to want to drink. That was my go-to for dealing with pretty much anything. In order to not relapse in a way that ruins what I have left; I am working on this daily writing, working out and recovery. 

Recovery is multi-faceted but ongoing. 

I want to write more but I have time constraints, and I honestly just need to be about it and not write about it. But I will continue to write and read good, honest content where I consume information. I just want to be a better person. 

As this evolves, I want to write what the words from Recovery Dharma mean to me. 

This is ultimately about the path to recovery and right living so the path has 3 groups:

The Wisdom Group

Wise Understanding and Wise Intention

Wise Understanding is where I think I can spend a lot of time and apply many words in the model. Not sure I will do that, but it is an option. 

Having a better understanding of not just alcohol triggers but life and emotional control triggers. Being cool for lack of a better word. Taking deep breaths, writing, jotting down notes. 

Think through as many options as I can to deal with issues that normally send my mind spiraling. Cement this intent to use what I have been given to the best most efficient ends for mental clarity as possibilities. What have I been given to help? This...I write and it does help just to empty my mind and give myself a focus to keep at the top of my mind. 

If it is not smart and not safe then I won't do it unless there is no alternative. 

Life Milestones; Death; Cancer

My grandmother passed away Saturday April 11, 1920...

I left Kansas City in Oct 1987 and never moved back...the fact that our family Matriarch is gone is a big deal! 4332 Benton Blvd, KCMO. The address! No other address matters in that city. That was our temple. Family temple. Everything started and happened at that house. I'm fifty one and will in a couple of weeks will have colorectal surgery. My grandmother had breast cancer as a black woman in the 1960's double mastectomy and lived to 92/93 years (not sure of birth date). I don't know where to begin with Mary Virginia Stone; so I won't try. She is my grandmother and is now passed on to the next life; whatever that might be.

16 February 2020 Daily or Weekly or Monthly

After such a long absence and inability to stick to a schedule; i feel pretty good that I'm on here two days in a row. Like I mentioned yesterday; I'm starting the reading of the scrolls as prescribed in the OG Mandino book, The Greatest Salesman in the World. I read it 25+ years ago when my brother first gave me the paperback book but never in the manner it is intended to be read. I already know it is showing dividends. Matter of fact; I will be reading the lst scroll again for the mid-day after I post this. I don't have much to say right now. I don't believe I always need to have much to say. This is about routine and positive progress for me. Still no alcohol. Last night I really wanted to drink some wine. It would be simple to cheat...there is a 7-eleven two miles from my house. They sell small cartons and if I really wanted to; I could make any excuse to leave and buy a carton and drink. Done it many times over the last ten years. What is keeping me from doing it again? l don't really know. It is a combination of things. First is this blog! Very important to be honest with myself right now and have something to do that is affirming my life path forward.
On to other things. I am always on the search for nutritious foods now. I will be trying Baobab fruit. Based on what I read yesterday; the fruit is broken down to a powder and is packed with all sorts of anti-oxidants and other stuff that is supposed to be really good for you. It's also from Africa and right now I feel that since that is my ancestral heritage, I should be focusing on consuming foods and nutrients from that continent. The Rooibos herb drink that has been so good for me these last 8 months is from Africa. Once I get this Baobab powder into my daily routine; I'll post what I'm feeling and how it is affecting me. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/306445#diet
First 24 hours of uninstalling Twitter. So much more relaxed. One less mind sucking app to interrupt my forward progress. After I'm done with this radiation treatment and start to focus on the next step which is surgery. I will start working out again and will post stuff about my routine that will last from February 20, 2020 until my surgery that will be about the middle of May 2020 or thereabouts. I really want to lose weight. I am generally pretty shocked that I have not lost any weight at all during all these chemo and radiation treatments. I don't have hardly any of the traditional side effects. Just weird to me... Maybe I'm different somehow?