The Main Reason for this Journal

 On the blog page I have a rubric of sorts I came up with during my first stay in jail last year. 

Then I went further and went to in patient rehab and worked on this idea more. 

The focus is on my recovery, but it can be anyone's. I feel the need to document everything I've been thinking about for the last 18 months. These truths about living my life with much more purpose and meaning have helped me get to a place where I finally feel like I have my own life. 

I began to develop my own thesis on what is ultimately wrong with America in general and it's that people just do not care anymore. It is frightening at times to see just how close the United States is to hurtling either itself or some major part of the world into a deep abiding economic and climate stressed depression. 

Since I have my own internal demons to conquer, I decided to develop a way for me to focus myself on staying sober and acting more intentionally every day. C. A. R. E. 

Each letter is associated with words of positive affirmation. 

Each morning (preferably) I will write a letter; i.e., A and a positive affirmation such as "Atonement". That will be my focus for the day. To pray, to seek and or to work on something that is directly related to working to be better than my former self. 

That is it for now. Pick a different letter each day and an associated positive word and focus everyday on something related. Also...take a look at a book called Recovery Dharma. 

Copied here is another thing I do daily (most of the time) and that is focus on the core principles of Buddhist mindset for daily life. 

FOUR NOBLE TRUTHS AND THE EIGHT-FOLD PATH

I.                THERE IS SUFFERING, I COMMIT TO UNDERSTANDING THE TRUTH OF SUFFERING.

II.              THERE IS CAUSE OF SUFFERING, I COMMIT TO UNDERSTANDING CRAVING LEADS TO SUFFERING.

III.            THERE IS AN END TO SUFFERING, I COMMIT TO UNDERSTANDING AND EXPERIENCING THAT LESS CRAVING LEADS TO LESS SUFFERING.

IV.            THERE IS A PATH THAT LEADS TO THE END OF SUFFERING, I COMMIT TO CULTIVATING THE PATH.

EIGHT-FOLD PATH

1.       WISE UNDERSTANDING

2.       WISE INTENTION

3.       WISE SPEECH

4.       WISE ACTION

5.       WISE LIVELIHOOD

6.       WISE EFFORT

7.       WISE MINDFULNESS

8.       WISE CONCENTRATION

In the Recovery Dharma book; each element is explained and shows you the relationship to a mindset change required in addiction recovery. 

I will endeavor to persevere' [credit to the movie, The Outlaw Josey Wales]

One comment on Current Events (2nd for Today!)

 Bessent announces campaign to create economic onslaught against Iran and its partners

Damn, this dude just said...do exactly what we say, when we say or your out of the US Financial system. Whew! Looks like we will all know how this plays out immediately. Our economy sinks and Europe, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Japan, South Korea and the entire Global South could join China and freeze out the US, lock, stock and barrel. It might hurt initially but would destroy the United States. Won't happen but some version of it could happen. What then?

The Abandoned Order: Learning to Live in a Post-American World

Read the above article to answer What Then? 

This article is the realist essay on the state of the world given the hyper stupidity coming out of the United States government that is our face to the rest of humanity. 

One comment on Current Events! (For Today)

The United States is completely delusional. There is no competition. China is on par and ahead in many areas and just no longer needs anything from the United States. You can talk, Uighur, Tianne man Square, Mao's 80+M killed. It does not matter anymore. We wanted China to be like the west and now they are beating the west at their game and not converting wholesale to democracy. China is currently working and yes there are issues, but they are largely China issues. Bottom Line: The United States is on a decline due to stupidity in all critical areas of government and leadership.

I wrote the above in the comments to an article similar in content to the one copied below. 

Has the U.S. lost its dominance to China? : NPR

I spent 37 years, my entire adult life serving the United States, first in the USAF (20 Yrs) and then roughly 17 years in a variety of roles, ending at the Pentagon as a Program Element Monitor. USAF acquisition employs military and civilians to work in the Pentagon to assist with the development of the future years budgets, coordination with Congress and the rest of the many stakeholders in the Pentagon. That is what I did for the last 8 years until I resigned in April 2026!

What is happening in our White House is not anything I ever envisioned being allowed to happen in this country. Living in a nation's decline is hard to watch. We can turn it around but the only way is for every American no matter what you believe or don't; has to vote Democrat...just this once (well twice - Mid-Term and Presidential). 

Nothing that this new crop of socialist democrats are talking about will see the light of day at the national level in any meaningful way. That is not a reason to vote Republican in any way shape or form. 

Our lives depend on it and that is the first time in my life I have truly felt this way. 

Motivation & Beauty

 

  I took this picture a couple of weeks ago at Curtis Lake in Hartwood, Va. This is where my wife and I go fishing. I act like I have a clue and take pictures and my wife actually catches all the catfish. It is just a beautiful, natural image taken with my phone. 

Images like this keep me grounded and appreciative of the time I do have on this planet, to make the most of being outside as often as possible. 

Catching Up!

 Time is so relative. No way it's been 5 years, but here we are. 

So many things have happened in my life. I have two grandkids now! 

I have also succumbed to my personal addictions and lost a part of me that I'm just coming to grips with. 

Lot happening in the world to say the least. 

But I plan to now, with all this time on my hands to write finally and intentionally. 

As a way to support myself (initially) with my own personal recovery I am going to share a concept of use of the letter C A R E to articulate a daily model to order my own day by. 

I have been working on this for the better part of a year and have it in a form that will allow me to accomplish some specific goals. 

1. Daily reflection and intention setting

2. Prayer and meditation focused on a specific item that will show up in the C A R E rubric of positive affirmations and reading

3. Physical commitment

MORE TO COME for real this time. 

I think I read somewhere once...

 I couldn't think of anything to write as a headline or anything. In my lifetime; I don't recall shit around the world everywhere just looking so bleak. It is a dichotomy though! (i actually got to use that word in something i am writing and it fits)

Afghanistan; where the hell to start with that one? I was listening to NPR the other day and the person on the call or interview suggested the US involvement in Afghanistan pre-dated the Soviet Invasion? I need to validate or at least run down some of the assumptions he made but I do know the US has been directly involved since at least before the Soviets invaded. Not sure in what capacity though and it changes nothing about my feelings on the current situation. 

Could not have chosen a worst course of action to leave the country. Horrific and sickening to watch this end this way. There is so much to unpack, study, digest, internalize and then make fundamental change to how we conduct foreign policy. I could add a video here of the C-17 plane or the bombing in Kabul the other day but I just won't keep adding to the insanity. We need to change or this is the beginning of the end for America. Something about the 21st century and that is...everything is sped up. Technology and the way we use it have sped up every cycle you can think. The news cycle has been on hyperdrive for over a decade now and that means situations like this can be absorbed and forgotten, when we need to pause and really capture what the fuck happened and institute change. 

This morning for instance on the drivel they call news; NBC4 in Washington DC decides that Sunday morning at 6am is the time to show the photos of the Marines that died. Sadistic mothafucka's. We have not even fully withdrawn from the place; the bodies have not been properly laid to rest, and now at the very beginning of our morning these retarded ratings hounds disrespect these men and women. I don't need to see their photos to understand the sacrifice they made. This is the sick shit we have to deal with. Then NBC4 justed move on the next segment; talking about whatever the fuck came up next. 

Had to get that shit off my chest. This is fucking therapy for me at this moment. I wish I could walk around like other people (don't want to put a % because i have no idea what other people think) I have observed who just seemingly don't give a fuck. Maybe everyone is doing what I am doing and writing all this down to get it out of their system. When you think about it; that is what twitter and all those apps let people do. Get shit out; express themselves. There are downsides to those apps and websites for sure. Humans always seem to figure out a way to fuck shit up and make it creepy and shady but...expression can help for most of us. 

AWAKENING

PONDER

It occured to me somehow that the technology associated with the Apple Mouse would be interesting to know and share. How did they pull the ability for the mouse; without a distinctive dividing line know if I am left clicking or right clicking? Interested to know...

EPIPHANY

We are here to influence forward!

Everything we do impacts future events; small or large. Every movement and thought put into practice or action has influence in ways we cannot accurately calculate. Think about that concept. DEEPLY